4 Helpful Tips For Raising Tween Girls
Raising kids is like being in school, you’re always learning about the stage your child is in. But it seems like as soon as you master “the program” you start the next level of learning. Or at least that’s how I feel at times.
Now that I’ve entered the tween stage with my daughter it’s like I’m taking mental notes every day now. I’m constantly thinking back to when I was 11, how I felt about certain things and how I would’ve preferred my mom to respond. This is a delicate stage when girls around this age find their personality and want to be more independent, but at the same time, they still want approval for their choices.
This is what works for me (at the moment).
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1. Build A Strong Relationship With Your Daughter
This is a crazy time in your tween/teen daughter’s life, so continuing to work on the bond you built when she was little will go a long way. If by some chance you don’t remember any of what you’re reading right now, remember this one thing:
might WILL do and say things you don’t like sometimes (expect some sass) it’s completely normal, but it’s okay to punish her when she goes too far. Even though you want an open relationship with your daughter don’t be afraid to put your foot down!
Keep building that bond, spend quality time together, take her on regular mother-daughter dates and ask her questions about her life, but not loaded ones. Keep them light and curious, just to keep an open line of communication. Don’t push her, but make sure she understands the door is open for more communication.
2. Give Her More Independence
Tween girls will start to crave more independence as they find their way in the world. This is kind of an awkward age where your daughter might still feel like a little girl at times, but she’s also quickly approaching her teen years. It can be a confusing time for her, so let her have a little independence in a safe environment.
If she wants to stay home alone to talk to her friends while you run errands, give her that option if she’s mature enough.
Let her go out with her friends, give her more time on the computer, and allow her to choose her own interests.
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3. Tween Girls Are Sensitive
Girls at this age are more sensitive than they want you to think. She is in a transitional stage in her life and she is trying to figure out who she is. At school, it can be especially confusing, but when she returns home, she wants support and comfort. She is looking for a safe place where she can be herself without judgment. It is up to you and the rest of your family to provide the support she needs. Try not to judge her, and accept the way her personality and interests are changing.
4. Let Her Know You’re Proud
Your tween daughter should always be told that you are proud of her. Show pride in everything she does and succeeds at, even if the results were not quite as you expected. Children and tweens really crave this type of attention from their parents, and girls can be sensitive about accomplishing something and not getting proper recognition for it. You can really help your daughter raise her confidence and self-esteem by showing that you are proud of everything she does.
Tween girls can be a handful, to say the least. Whenever you feel frustrated or overwhelmed with your daughter just try to put yourself in her shoes for a bit. Think about the frustration you felt at times when your mom just couldn’t relate to what you were going through at the moment. Even if her “problems” seem small to you it could (and probably does) feel like the biggest problems in the world her.
If all else fails a glass of wine…. or 2 never hurt nobody!