Why You Should Say NO As A New Mom
One of the hardest things about having a brand new baby, in my opinion, is not actually taking care of the baby. Because if left to your own nurturing instincts I’m sure you’d find your way as a new mother even without the help of doctors, the so-called “experts”, or mothers who came before.
No, the hardest thing about being a new mom, is simply saying NO. No to the rest of the world, who won’t respect your privacy and just the complete lack of energy you might be experiencing at the moment. This is such an important time in your life and the life of your child and as a mom with a brand-new baby, he or she has to be your priority.
Some things that you might want to say no to when you’ve just had a baby:
It is perfectly reasonable to not want to bring your new baby out to every family event if any at all. Of course, your family and friends are excited to meet your new little one and can you blame them? Who doesn’t love new babies!?! But there are so many reasons why it’s better to quietly bow out of these family obligations.
First. You are exhausted. You’re body just went through a major event and is still trying to recover. A new mom has to take care of herself first and foremost, so she’ll be able to take care of the baby.
Second. If you had your baby during cold weather season ( I have 2 September babies) going outside may not be the best thing for travel or for taking the baby out for very long.
Third. There’s always a risk of the baby getting sick, exposure to illness can a real threat to a newborn baby, especially if your baby was a premie.
Now let’s talk about how you can get out of it
Like I mentioned earlier, people want to see the baby. You might offer them a more low-key alternative, such as “Sorry we can’t make it, a big party is just too much for us right now. Let’s plan for a short visit so you can meet the baby soon!”
Some husbands (even though they mean well) fail to realize that a “relaxing vacation” is anything but when you’re a mom, no matter what age your kids are. So if you’ve just given birth, you have every right to opt-out of the family vacation this year, even if you take one every summer, fall, or Christmas break.
How to get out of it:
Try to explain how exhausting of a time this is for you as a new mom. It’s also tough to establish a sleeping/waking schedule with a new baby so keeping a steady schedule is important. and this is certainly a valid point against traveling someplace where the conveniences and routines of home are nowhere to be found.
Here’s another example of something that sounds relaxing but really isn’t. Being cooped up in the car with a fussy newborn, not having access to nursing supplies, throwing off baby’s sleeping and feeding schedule, exposing the baby to germs, noises, and crowds… Not exactly fun! These are all worth bringing up should you begin to feel pressured by family and friends to jump back into the frantic scene of always having a fully booked calendar.
Here are some ways you can deliver a firm, but gentle “no, thanks” when asked to fulfill obligations outside of the realm of taking care of the baby:
“Sorry, we’re busy that weekend, but maybe when the baby is a little older we can talk about getting together.”
“We can not wait for you to meet her! As soon as she’s a little bit bigger and more portable, we’ll have you over for dinner.”
“Our doctor recommends that close family and friends get updated on their vaccinations before visiting with the baby.” (This is true, as many pediatricians are now making this recommendation for their newborn patients.)
If all else fails, you can put your phone on silent. Then, if you get messages from friends and family, you can just reply with a polite text. Thank them for their (invite, suggestion, whatever it may be) and then explain that baby needs his or her rest and you’ll be in touch soon.
When it’s all said and done it’s your choice so just do whatever makes you feel comfortable mama and enjoy that little ball of flesh because this time passes waaayyyy to fast!